Kelly Slayfield

Female

Austin, TX

United States

Profile Information:

Bio

I'm a native Austin, Texan with enough Scottish heritage to make me sassy. I hate unicorns but I love books. I have been called a mermaid, but they're fickle things and we're really all Sirens here. I love all cats, big and small, and I hate photos people post that insult their intelligence. Wolves are misunderstood. Steak should bleed a little when you cut into it or it's overdone. Spiders don't scare me but roaches need to go. I'm engaged to a police officer, but I don't mind if you light it up in front of me. I'd rather drink a hot Lonestar long neck than gag down a cold Shiner. I play bass, paint, write fiction, style hair, and can probably kick your boyfriend's butt at pool. I can't drive without music. I cried when Lux Interior died and laughed when that bird flew into Fabio's face. Hot rods are cool, but I prefer rat rods. I can water ski, do your taxes, give you a killer hairdo and out-spell most English majors. I like rolling around in the sand, the st. augustine, and the bed with my cop lover. I enjoy shooting guns and adore throwing knives. I once broke my foot in three places while just standing still. I abhor Facebook but visit it daily. My bridesmaids are wearing gunmetal and the groomsmen are paying homage to Reservoir Dogs. My wedding bouquet will be 24 yellow roses.But I digress: you play "sorry!"; I play chess. Queen's pawn to E-3, checkmate! Go get some Percocets.

I don't always drink whiskey, but when I do, I prefer Jameson.

Relationship Status

Committed

List your measurements if you'd like to help others with sizing

32x24x36, small C-cup

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