I'm a newbie so I thought an introduction should be in order :)  Well that and I find that I need to vent just a tiny bit.

I'm 35 (next month), wife to a wonderful man for 10 years (this month!) and mommy to a 10 year old daughter and 8 year old son.

However as much as I absolutely adore my family I've learned over the years that they do not completely define ME as an individual.

I lost my job when my daughter was just a few months old so I was unceremoniously thrust into the deep dark waters of Stay at Home Mom.  I don't like that term though so I prefer to be called a Domestic Engineer (I put that down as my occupation whenever it's required...lol).  It was tough to say the least.  All of a sudden I went from being Cari with a job, friends, hobbies...a life outside my house.  I struggled for a few years.  I hated when I'd meet someone new and the conversation would turn to employment:

"So Cari what do you do?"

"I'm a Stay at Home Mom."

One of two responses come at this point:

"Oh....how nice." As they turn away to the next person, thereby dismissing me.   OR...

"Oh!  That's wonderful!  How great for you to be able to do whatever you want all day!"

Really?  I hate the stereotype that I sit on my ass all day reading a book (I would LOVE to do that), watching soap operas (I honestly don't care what character was killed off 10 years ago only to be brought back to life this week), watching talk shows (I really don't give a rats ass about the girl with a list of 5 guys any one of which could be Baby's Daddy) and eating Bon Bons (my kids have radar for sweets that would make the military jealous!).  Thanks Peg Bundy for all you did for the image of the American Housewife.  Honestly I'd rather be thought of like June Cleaver.  I work hard making sure my house is clean (for the most part), the laundry done and my family is fed & watered on a daily basis.  I'm raising (hopefully) productive members of society not lazy little slackers who wear PJ's in public durring daylight hours.

I got depressed.  Turns out though part of that was due to PPD after my son was born.  I had a little bit of a melt down and finally asked for help from the family Dr.  A few months worth of Happy Pills and I kicked the baby blues to the curb and decided it was time to 'find myself'.

So I looked high and low for Me.  Under rocks, in closets, even under the bed thinking that maybe the dust bunnies kidnapped that essential little piece of ME that I was  searching for.  Turns out I was all over the place!  I was hiding in the open in plain sight!  A little piece of Me was sitting on a shelf litteraly collecting dust.  It was my camera, an old 1969 35mm.  I used to love taking pictures!  So I dusted it off and decided it was time to resurect that part of me.  Eventually it gave up the ghost and I stepped up to a DSLR.  I grew and led to saving some $$ by doing the kid's portraits myself and for the occasional friend/family member, even dozen weddings now.  I'm not Mommy or Mrs. when I take photos...I'm just Cari :)  Photography is my passion and it saved my sanity by bridging the gap between single the girl and the wife/mommy.

Picking up that old camera also sparked another forgotten piece of me.  My love of vintage things.  I've always been a bit of a throwback compared to the rest of my generation.  I love the music from the 40's ~ 60's, the cars were big and curvy, the movies more entertaining, the clothes more classy and the products more durable.  I can't function without Dean Martin on my MP3 (and I love love love Michael Buble!).  I bought myself a 1969 Zenith console strereo so now I annoy my friends at Christmas with vinyl (along with my super tacky 6ft tall shiny aluminum tree!) .  My garage is decorated in Pin-up girls.  And my Oh So Wonderful husband bought me a '63 T-Bird last year! 

The only thing I'm missing is the clothes!  I have a ton of wonderful accessories that I've always incorporated into my wordrobe but I think I've lacked the confidence to go full throttle (I have one outfit that I got for a costume party a few years back).  Wondering if I couldl pull it off or if I'd look like I was trying too hard to be something that I'm not.  The T-Bird has been a bit of a wake up call for me in that YES! THIS IS WHO I AM!  I feel at home behind the wheel of that car.  From the moment that I sat in it for the first time I knew without a doubt that it was mine and that it fit me.

So yes...I am a Mommy and a Wife first and foremost. But I am also Cari.  I love a good book.  I love photography.  I love a good Elizabeth Taylor or Grace Kelly flick. I love music that I can understand the lyrics to. I love the satisfaction of a homemade meal rather than takeout.  I love the swishy feel of a petticoat and how a great pair of peep toe heels make me feel sexy. 

Yikes!!

That was long winded!  I get a little carried away when I want to get my thoughts down.  If you've read this far you must have time on your hands...lol