We have all had break ups before and they are messy horrid things. I'm a logical person (at least Id like to think so) and when I go through break ups I do them very well (according to my friends).

I don't go binging on high fat food or alcohol and don't go overboard with anything in particular. Apart from moments of nostalgia and the occasional bawling in the shower I am pretty OK. Since many of my friends highly suspect that I am a POD (ref Seinfeld). I have decided to write down what I do to hold it all together and not end up a sniveling snotty nosed teary eyed mess on the floor banging my fits, pulling my hair and gnashing my teeth.

Step 1 Forgive yourself:  for making mistakes, not trying hard enough etc. At the end of the day the world is a big unforgiving place and life is hard, why make it harder by being harsh on yourself?

Step 2: Give yourself time to grieve: A break up to me is like loosing a limb, you kind of still feel attached to it but know you can never get it back. Remember to grieve, its OK to just cry your eyes out, in fact studies have shown that you need to cry to get your emotions and feelings out. Most importantly grieve in a safe environment. So take a day off after the break up, work will still be there the next day and most things will survive without your presence.

Step 3: Remind yourself why you broke up: make a list, write down all the characteristics of that person that annoyed you, things they did and said that hurt you and lastly what made you break up with them. If your on the receiving end of the break up write this list as well, that way when ever you feel the urge to break down and call the person you can look at the list and be reminded why this is actually a good thing. Also if the person calls you you can use this list as your armor and reasons not to pick up that phone.

Step 4: Remind yourself why your a good person: Write down the things that you love about yourself that make you happy. Remember to write down things that you liked about yourself (pre the person) and how you can now be yourself again without compromising for another persons needs and wants. Remind yourself about the good things about being single.

Step 5: Use your friends: Talk to your friends get them to remind you about who you are, the fun times you had with them, your live before him/her. Go out with them, do activities that you enjoy, keep company with them. Then get them to help you detox. Which leads to step 6

Step 6: Detox: Detox yourself of him/her. Get your friends to help you with this as they will be more objective while being sympathetic to you. They can delete your pictures off facebook, help you throw out those mementos that remind you of him/her. Get back to being you. Remember out of sight out of mind (it takes a while but it works). Its important you do this after your grieve and your lists are made detoxing too early can be too painful.

Step 6: Reward yourself: The best way to get over someone is to reward yourself. Get back on that bike or to the gym, loose/gain those extra pounds. Heres the best part use all that money you were saving up for holidays/presents for him/her you can now SPEND IT ON YOURSELF.

Step 7: The PUG injection: Make yourself a PUG wish list and each month you get by without him/her get something. Lets be honest a night on the town will set you back a minimum of $100 bucks and usually your dignity as well (post break up). A PUG skirt will set you back $48 or $90 bucks and you will not only look stunning but retain your dignity, your waistline AND you wont have a mother of a hangover.

Step 8: Take inspiration from your idols: Think about what they would do in your situation. Would they roll over and possibly (in the famous words of Bridget Jones) get eaten by Alsatians? I think not! Miss Pitt. Max and Laura would extend their elegant middle finger(s) and say stuff you I'm better off without you. Focus on your work/hobbies be busy until you think your can be alone with yourself.

if you have thoughts twirling in your brain during those lonely nights listen to a program you like (I find the episodes and shorts of Radiolab highly interesting and distracting). You will not only have entertaining dreams but will become more educated!

Ultimately at the end of the day if someone breaks up with you/or you break up with someone you were not meant to be together anyway. There is no point crying over spilled milk.

If the milk is spilled do what Ms Max does and do a sexy dance in it. YEAH BABY.

Hope this helps someone out there. I know it helps me.