I am a defective girl in that I don't own two huge closets full of clothing and 250 pairs of shoes. That is because I am SO picky about the things I wear. I constantly moan about my shortage of bottoms... namely capris/pedal pushers and cigarette pants. Why? BECAUSE IT IS SO HARD TO FIND GOOD ONES. 

I stopped buying the vintage bottoms (online, at least) years ago. I fell victim to the "old clothes at weekenders" one too many times and wasn't keen on having to slyly exit out of a crowded room because my pants had split up the cheek and my panties were exposed. I want a certain style, but something that isn't going to fall apart on me. 

There are a few things I look for when looking for bottoms:

•  Rise -- I will not wear anything with a low-rise. 13 is pushing it. I like a 14" rise a whole lot, but a 15" rise will make me squeal!
• Side or back zip - People always refer to anything with a high rise as being a "mom" jean or pant. It only looks that way, to me, if it zips in the front. Aside from regular ol' Levis, anything with a front zip looks so 'blah' and unflattering. 
• Leg width - I like slim-fitting trousers. Nothing worse than a capri pant with wide legs... and of course, cigarette pants were made to be slim-fitting. 
• Pockets - if they're not jeans, I don't want back pockets. 
• Belt loops - I prefer my pants without, especially when it comes to repro garments. I dislike it even more if the garment comes with a belt. 
• Rhinestones or other added "bling" - I wouldn't be caught dead. Embroidery falls in the same category.
• Ankle - I like a little slit at the ankle, but can live without it.

That really narrows things down, doesn't it? 

I had been scouring the internet looking for a nice pair of pants because I really didn't have much. Ms. Picky was having the hardest time finding anything. Then I came across the black Deadly Dames Cigarette Pants over at Pinup Girl Clothing.

I must admit, I was skeptical of purchasing the Deadly Dames Cigarette Pants because of one thing: STRETCH. Yes, the dreaded "S" word. The 3% spandex contained in the 97% cotton scared me. I loved the way the pants were cut. They zipped in the back! Darts where darts should be!  No cheesy belts or pockets or other add-ons. Micheline's ass looked phenomenal in them. Why didn't I just take the plunge?

In the past when I have purchased cotton sateen garments that had a stretch, they always looked splendidly craptacular once I washed them. They'd lose their sheen and it would be so hard to iron out the wrinkles. It's like they would suddenly turn to seersucker without the cheesy plaid motifs. 

Also, I have a 12" difference between my hip measurement and my waist measurement. It is SO hard to find pants that don't fit all funky in the waist because of this. The site wasn't specific on rise or anything like that. It was this two week battle over "Yes! Order them!" and "But what if you don't like them?" I never trust the size charts. I have always been so let down.

Anyway, I finally grew a pair and bought the pants (I guess a coupon code was the main motivator). Why the hell did I put up such a fuss?! Besides, it's not like I couldn't return them. I baffle myself sometimes.

These go on and fit like all the vintage pairs I've ever owned. They fit perfect everywhere! I didn't have that stupid gap in the waist that one will get with most modern pants due to the waist and hips having nearly the same measurement.

The cut of the pants makes my ass look AMAZING. 
The stretch wasn't bad, either. Just the right amount! One thing I always disliked about some vintage bottoms is how you'll get a pair and they look SO amazing on, but it's difficult to sit down comfortably... or stoop down, or do anything but stand there. You can do all of those things in them. You can even do a cartwheel (yes, I tried).

Their cotton sateen is of superior grade. I've washed mine several times and they don't look dull, puckered or misshapen. The care instructions say to dry flat, but I've had to dry mine as to shrink them a bit because I like them TIGHT. Even though I'm going against the 'rules', they still look good, like the day I got them.

I do plan on ordering additional pairs... in black! I'm really thinking about getting the tiger print pair, as well.

The Deadly Dames Cigarette Pants get two thumbs up from me. You need a pair, right now.

Look at that ass! Yes, yours can look this good!