I always loved to celebrate my birthday. When I was a kid, my parents organized the most creative and fun parties for me and my friends. Every year, I longed for the family gathering in our backyard, where we’re eating cake and celebrating life. But on my 22th birthday, things suddenly changed.

My aunt was pregnant with twins, which runs in my family (my brother and sister are twins as well). One other thing that runs in my family is complications during childbirth. I already lost two cousins right after their birth.

As I was taking my home-baked birthday cake out of the oven, I got the call, that the birth of my two cousins would be a premature one and that we had to hope, that everything would turn out well. I couldn’t eat a single bite of my cake and I was staring at the phone for my whole birthday. The backyard party was cancelled and I ignored almost every birthday wish I got on any social media that day. I couldn’t sleep and in the next morning, I got the call I never wanted to receive. One of the baby boys had died because he wasn’t strong enough to make it through the premature birth. One day later, I got the devastating news that his brother couldn’t make it either.

I spent one year of sorrow, wearing all black, and I didn’t celebrate my birthday for the next years. I just didn’t get the joyful birthday-feeling anymore. It was just the day my cousins died.

But this year, some magic happened. I met Frances Follies, a hair and makeup artist at a photo shooting in Belgium, who told me about Pinup Girl Clothing. As I was browsing on the PUG-homepage, I fell in love with one particular item – the Jenny Skirt with the Mary Blair Umbrellas Print. Mary Blair was one of the cartoonists at the Walt Disney Studios and worked on concepts for Peter Pan and Alice in Wonderland. I’m fascinated by the work of Disney since I grew up with it. Alice in Wonderland plays an important role in my life. For me, Alice’s adventure is full of symbolism that reflects the struggle in real life searching for our own wonderland.

Concept art by Mary Blair - found on buzzfeed.com

I can’t put it into words how this skirt affected me but I had to have it (just the usual female psychology, I guess ^^). I wanted to wear it on my next birthday that I wanted to spend at the Disney Land Paris. I saw the pretty girls on the PUG-Instagram celebrating at Disney World wearing their gorgeous dresses. They seemed so happy and at peace with themselves, so I wanted to experience this feeling as well.

Finally, as I was standing in front of the pink castle, with my mickey mouse ears (which was a birthday present from my boyfriend) and my new favorite skirt, I was feeling happy again. Visitors complimented me on my cute outfit and wished me a happy birthday. I felt the warmth and the joy of celebrating my life again, just like I did as a kid. That doesn’t mean that I’ll forget the pain but I’ve learned to accept things that happened in my life. I found my wonderland!

I never thought that clothing items could change my perspective on life this much, but from the first look at this skirt I knew that it would get a place of honor in my closet.

I’m looking forward to many birthdays in the future while remembering this special one, when PUG changed my life.

Photos by Reiner Eisenbeis | Jewelry by Traumschmuck4you

♥ Love, Rina ♥